“I’m aware mental illness is stigmatized,
but the stigma is worth it if I’ve realized
who I’m meant to be, armed with my diagnosis”
Kindness is often mistaken for softness and let me tell you, friends….that is a mistake you don’t want to make.
Kind people are not born that way, they do not stumble into it, kind people are forged in fire and darkness and imploding stars…they have steel cores. Throw a punch and you’re going to break your hand.
Kind people are kind because they know firsthand that life isn’t.
“The helper seeks to help because he knows what it is to be helpless”
Rebecca & her love of musical theater (her happiness & her saviour (ﾉ◕ヮ◕)ﾉ*:・ﾟ✧)
You loved that play. You loved theater, and you loved music, and you were gonna change your major. You spent hours practicing alone.
…
Okay, so I loved being in a play. But that’s not a person. So how is that real love?
Love doesn’t have to be a person. It can be a passion. And that passion has sustained you for much of your life, hasn’t it?
this is just a little homage to my favourite show and one of my favourite characters ever written. it’s hard to describe how it feels when you watch or listen to something for the first time and feel such an unfathomable kinship and part of yourself being reflected in it (it feels like glitter is exploding inside of me!!! honestly!!!), but that is how this show makes me feel. crazy ex-girlfriend has done more for me than i think most people have in my life, and i’m eternally grateful to rachel bloom and aline brosh mckenna for creating something so special. i’d say this is for other die hard fans of the show, purely because there are so many songs shoved into it, but it might be fun for anyone to listen (i tried to make it work by changing some lyrics here and there - it’s meant to reflect rebecca’s journey so there are a few songs muddled around, but i hope it works). it’s truly because i love them all and wanted to put something out there to embody that love the only way i know how. rebecca is special and loved and i’m so hopeful that she’ll find her happiness and get better.
Look at where you are, look at where you started -
The fact that you’re alive is a miracle.
Just stay alive, that would be e n o u g h.This happened a bit by accident - my little reliable phone that I’ve had since 2009 finally decided to not work properly anymore, so my dad let me pick out a new one (I now have a shiny iPhone that cost him a total of 99 cents!). And I thought, hey, I wonder what the quality of Voice Memos is? it turns out…better than I expected. I think this is one of the clearer recordings I’ve ever done (I’m sorry I didn’t have it four+ years ago when I sang on a more regular basis). I feel strangely out of ‘practice’ because it’s become such an infrequent thing - I haven’t posted singing since the new year, but this is the first time in a long time that I’ve actually felt joy about it.
The lovely accompaniment/duet for this comes from here. I could write a very long essay about how beautiful and meaningful this song is to me, but I probably don’t really have to explain it. The dream of being part of a narrative instead of coping with the absence of one, the hope of being enough someday…of course that resonates with me.
As far as its message that radiates outward, the sense of compassion in its lyrics - I don’t pretend to know the challenges you’re facing, the worlds you keep erasing and creating in your minds, but you’re still here, and right now, that’s enough. Look around, look around… ♥
When my friends and I stick together, there’s nothing we can’t do…
“[They] will be friends forever, whatever happens with the boys.“ ♥
i think, when you truly love, and are passionate about, and connect to stories, one of the absolute most difficult and vulnerable things to do is to try and share them, because you’re exposing such a closely held part of yourself, and that fear of rejection or misunderstanding is so palpable, and you have to remember that everyone is different, and someone else not seeing the beauty and value and meaning in something that is incredibly dear and worthwhile to you doesn’t make it any less important, resonant, or inspiring
you’re allowed to cling to what you love and what shapes your life, and it’s okay if others don’t “get it,” it’s still yours, your emotions and thoughts are still to be treasured, and if it is significant and affirming for you, that’s all that matters
“Rebecca, for the whole show, has tried to be people she’s seen in movies and TV shows because she has no sense of who she is internally. And so she has tried to—every time she takes on another persona it’s like trying on a new costume. The same goes for this Fatal Attraction, she says, ‘OK, you left me at the altar, you called me crazy, great. I’m crazy. I’m crazy and I’m fucking sexy and I’m a dynamo.’ She’s going to come in with this persona, but again, it’s the same mistake she keeps making, which is like, Rebecca, what do you really want? Who are you really?”
“I’m aware mental illness is stigmatized,
but the stigma is worth it if I’ve realized
who I’m meant to be, armed with my diagnosis”
Jessie, you have no idea how much it means to me to have you in my life. You are a blessing and a light like no other - I am truly lucky to know you. I love you more. ♥♥♥
Jessie, you are without a doubt one of the best people I know. Thank you so much for this and all you are and have done for me. I love you so much. ♥
Jessie, you are everything and I love (and miss) you so much.
{shine - if your heart tells you to, then who are you to question it?; shine - if the world gets you down, don’t be afraid to wrestle it; shine - you have your whole life ahead of you, come make a mess of it}
for the bad days and the hope for kinder tomorrows; for the cleansing rain and the warm sun that follows
1. {prologue} Falling, Catching - Agnes Obel | 2. How Do You Feel Today? - Gabrielle Aplin [I offered you my hands and I’ve given you my hope; so let me be your salvation, I refuse to be your rope] | 3. Rainy Days and Mondays - Emmy Rossum | 4. Shine - Birdy | 5. Shallows - Daughter | 6. Your Song - Ellie Goulding | 7. {interlude i} The Violet Hour - The Civil Wars | 8. Vienna - Billy Joel [Slow down, you’re doin’ fine, you can’t be everything you want to be before your time] | 9. Hidden Away - Josh Groban | 10. A Song for You - The Carpenters | 11. Don’t You Worry - Lucy Rose | 12. A Sky Full of Stars - Coldplay | 13. {interlude ii} Behind the Clouds - Luigi Rubino | 14. High and Dry - Jeremy Jordan | 15. Weight of Living, Part I - Bastille | 16. Save Me - The Pierces | 17. Dark Side - Kelly Clarkson [Please remind me who I really am] | 18. I Lived - OneRepublic | 19. {interlude iii} Home - David Nevue | 20. Broken Doll - Anna Nalick | 21. Cold Kind Hand - The Paper Kites | 22. Believe in Me - Demi Lovato | 23. The Age of Worry - John Mayer | 24. Hope for the Hopeless - A Fine Frenzy [When your heart is sore, and the heavens pour, like a willow bending with the storm, you’ll make it] | 25. {interlude iv} Gymnopédie #1 (Satie) - Pascal Rogé | 26. Shake It Out (Acoustic) - Florence + the Machine | 27. You Are the Moon - The Hush Sound | 28. Somewhere - Celtic Woman | 29. Feeling of Being - Lucy Schwartz [I sail into the light] | 30. Calls Me Home - Shannon LaBrie | 31. {interlude v} Maybe - Yiruma | 32. I Stand (Acoustic) - Idina Menzel [I don’t know if the sky is heaven, but I pray anyway] | 33. Stay Young, Go Dancing - Death Cab for Cutie | 34. Unconditionally (Acoustic) - Katy Perry | 35. Lifetime - Katharine McPhee | 36. Hercules - Sara Bareilles | 37. {interlude vi} Lullaby - Michael Silverman | 38. Few Days Down - Mandy Moore [If nobody sees you cry, you can say it was raining outside] | 39. Anchor - Mindy Gledhill | 40. Misguided Ghosts - Paramore | 41. The Lonely - Christina Perri | 42. Tomorrow Will Be Kinder - The Secret Sisters | 43. {interlude vii} Clair de Lune (Debussy) - Kerrilyn Renshaw | 44. Beauty in Walking Away - Marié Digby | 45. Brand New Day (Acoustic) - Kodaline feat. Nina Nesbitt | 46. Fear & Loathing - Marina and the Diamonds | 47. Bridge Over Troubled Water - Simon and Garfunkel | 48. Beside You - Phildel [When there’s nothing but darkened sound, I will be beside you] | 49. {interlude viii} Heartstrings - Secret Garden | 50. Been a Long Day - Rosi Golan | 51. I’m Glad There is You - Rachel MacFarlane | 52. Today Will Be Better, I Swear! - Stars | 53. Surrender and Certainty - Sarah McLachlan [I want to know what it feels like to be that sure of anything] | 54. Two Birds - Regina Spektor | 55. {interlude ix} Fly - Ludovico Einaudi | 56. Feather Moon - Vienna Teng | 57. Hello - Jason Gould | 58. Photograph - Ed Sheeran [Loving can heal, loving can mend your soul, and it’s the only thing that I know, I swear it will get easier] | 59. Let There Be Morning - The Perishers | 60. {interlude x} Liz On Top of the World - Jean-Yves Thibaudet | 61. Keep Together - Hunter Hunted | 62. Don’t Stop - Fleetwood Mac | 63. Beautiful - Carole King | 64. Crazy Dreams - Megan Hilty | 65. No One is Alone/ Not While I’m Around - Nancy Lamott | 66. Anything Can Happen - Linda Eder [Trust your heart, and believe, come what may, ‘cause anything can happen, if you let it happen, anything can happen today] | 67. {epilogue} Across the Skies - Stanton Lanier
***
I’ve been working on this for a little over a month, piecemeal - it originated in the idea that I just wanted to make a simple, comforting playlist (which was initially only about 15 of these songs). There have been some difficult times lately, and music is always such a source of consolation to me that, as days wore on, I kept finding myself adding songs to it, thinking I might pare it down later. If something touched me or made me feel better, I added it. In the end, I have no shame, I included them all, broken up by instrumental interludes, so it’s more like a small book of songs comprised of emotionally linked chapters; there are songs of quiet heartache and songs of gentle optimism, and a few that are a little louder and declarative, but for me there’s a central propelling theme of forward motion, and ultimately, hope. Given its length, it can be taken in sections or as one cohesive whole, but either way, may it provide a little catharsis and wrap around your heart. Listen to the melody, my love is in there hiding. ♥